From Experiencing God

I Hear a Whisper

I feel a restless longing
Deep within my spirit, Lord
Like there's more to this life of faith
Than I have known before

And from this place of discontent
You've heard my constant cry
Now You've begun to answer, Lord
For I cannot deny

I hear a whisper in the silence
A stirring in the wind
Saying I can know where You are moving
And I can join in
I can have purpose and passion
Know Your will and know my part
I hear a whissper and I'm feeling
Change is coming to my heart

The weekend, already!

"It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God. God's training is for now, not later. His purpose is for this very minute, not for sometime in the future. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself. God's purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious." -Oswald Chambers

I love this wisdom from Oswald because it reveals something about me that needs to change. So often I am looking to "what's next" and neglect the sacredness of the "moment." For instance, right now I am really enjoying my time in Honduras but am catching myself thinking of being back in Seattle and starting a new job. What I need to be recognizing is that right now God is allowing me to be a part of something amazing. I get to be a part of people's lives and their healing. I cannot possibly be fully invested here if my mind is in another place. Lord, help me to step back more and savor each moment, as my time here is sparing. Show me what it means to be obedient in the moment.

It's been a few days since I've blogged. Life is happening here! Let's see, thursday we had team meeting in the morning and in the afternoon Dierdre and I went to Northside. We walked along the gorgeous beach, then did home visits to Nila and Ms. Betty. Nila's sugar was over 400! Whew! Hopefully her Metformin this week will allow her to keep better control of it. Otherwise, she'll probably need to start insulin injections. Ms. Betty has a UTI (urinary tract infection) due to her foley, yet, we put in the foley to treat an ulcer and prevent further skin breakdown. Sometimes it's important to treat the greater of the two evils. Although it happens in the states, too, I've found the concept of "weighing the evils" especially present in third world health care settings. We got her some antibiotics for the infection as well.

I get frustrated about how much I don't know, and how many incapabilities I have. At times I feel completely inept! It's especially obvious in the area of nursing. I need to be patient with myself and realize that I am learning and getting better each day. Each experience builds on itself. I've got great teachers in Alisa and Dierdre, and soon a MD (Dr. Voorhis) will be coming. I miss Dierdre, as she has gone back to the states to fundraise and see her grandaughter be born. It was a blessing to have the last 2 weeks to get to know her and to learn from her.

As far as connecting with the locals, or "islanders" here, I feel like I'm on the outside of the circle, with glimpses of understanding or experiencing the inner circle. It's tough because learning names, building relationships and gaining trust all take time. On an island where relationships are everything, I'm frustrated that I haven't really built any. Six weeks is not much time at all to be here, yet, I don't want to use that as an excuse to not use the time I have to really love people. The love of Christ compels. On the other hand, I'm feeling very comfortable with the missionaries here and want to be as open as possible. I'm just not naturally a "talker." I shared my testimony on Thursday and was glad to be able to tell them on a deeper level what God has done in my life. It is so cool to me that those on Team Helene genuinely enjoy each other's company, sitting around for hours after meals just chatting, or playing card games until late into the night. We encourage and pray for each other every morning in devotions. Here I am experiencing communal living at it's finest - and I love it.

This week I was struck by the simplicity and poverty of island life, as well as the beauty of community here. There are no roads, or cars, or sinks in homes, or electricity & plumbing for most, or street lights, or air conditioners, or glass windows, or even proper roofs to keep the rain out. All of these things I take so for granted every day. But boy are there gatherings! I went to a birthday party for a 5 year old little girl yesterday and was amazed to see how many people were there! There were easily 100 people who gathered to play games, socialize and just be together. We also paid a visit to Papa Lee to celebrate his 94 years of living.

It's been a full weekend even though we've had an "empty house" (all but Larry, Sheila, Alisa and I went "down island" to Roatan to pick up Lucy, a past intern who is coming to visit for 2 weeks). We did some home visits yesterday. I got to meet Lowell, a dear man who's systolic pressure was up into the 200s Tuesday. Thankfully, it has come down to 150, but, we spent some time in the clinic figuring out what we could give him to bring it down (nitropatches, atenolol, etc.). We also wanted to know what we could give a pregnant women for hypertension, especially since our pharmacy is limited. Also, we have a few people with wounds that need to be tended every day who came to see us this morning. The crew is coming home within the hour and things will be hopping again (which is still a relaxed pace compared to life in the US).

Wow, I'm going into my 3rd week...already!!!!

Wednesday #2

Today was a scorcher! 101.6 with 91% humidity - yikes! My favorite part was swimming in the clear blue sea with a bunch of kindergarteners and Toshiba, the wonderful clinic pitbull. We would run and jump off of the dock. They are fearless (and they scream like girls)! It was so funny when Dominique (one of the kids) was swimming around me in circles, with Toshiba trying to catch up with him. It made me dizzy. Darrell is one little boy who has absolutely stolen my heart. He latched onto me today because he's scared of the "Sheeba". I remember him from the very first day I was here, when he ran up next to me, flashed a big smile and said, "You're a nurse!" That was before I had found out that I passed the NCLEX. He said it with more confidence than I had because my thought at that point was, "well, I hope so."

It was a slow day in the clinic, I didn't get to give any shots today (not that I like giving shots, but it's good practice). I'm starting to feel more comfortable in the 'practicioner' role.

I went to "YP" tonight, which is like youth group. Camas (an Alternative Missions team member) led because Daniel, the islander who was the worship leader, moved away a few days ago. It was pretty sad to me because the youth didn't come until an hour after the start time, there were only 4 girls who actually came, and then almost all of them left after one song. It is difficult for me to know where people are with God here, as there are many churches and many people, but not many people filling the churches. The elderly patients really love it when we pray with them, but, I don't see such a passion with the general public, especially the men. I'm still learning, but, my prayer for them is for God put a hunger in their hearts to know Him.

Yay for Tuesdays

Thank God for a great day! Although it was hot and humid as all get out, the breeze cooled us down. In the morning, Dierdre and I went around to visit Esley, Ms. Nella, and a few others along the way. I really enjoyed checking pressures, dressing wounds, passing out meds, chating, and praying with the patients. I even got to use some Spanish. In the afternoon, Alisa and I went to see Ms. Indiana, Joy, Wemsey, and Mr. Lee. It is a joy to spend time with all of them, especially Ms. Indiana and Mr. Lee, who are elderly and clearly love the company. Walking around with Alisa was lots of fun, chatting about nursing and life. On our way back, we came across 4 little kiddos who ran at us with their arms open wide for us to pick them up and spin them around. I love how uninhibited kids can be. We did "believer's" Tae Bo after home visits. It was pretty cheesy, but Billy Blanks really brings a good workout. Movie time (really "roughing it", I know!

Monday - Week 2

Well, I'm exhausted and feel like I've been struck by the attack of the killer mosquitos, but it's been another great day. In clinic today I played "pharmacist" and spent the majority of my time reading pill bottles and condensing differnent medications. Yeah, I'm a pill pusher. It's a tedious, kinda fun process but I did miss out on patient contact. It was a great moment when I saw a patient today and was able to identify her problem as a possible left ear infection - and was right! I actually DO have skills - assessment skills, that is. It was confirmed when Alisa did her assessment and we looked back at the pt.'s chart as having a history of L Otitis Media (ear infection). I had a great meeting with Larry (DODO - Director of Daily Operations AKA boss) today, we talked about "the celebration of conflict" within a team and how it is Biblical. We're going through this book called, "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team." Good stuff. What else? Alisa, Dierdre and I laughed our heads off (and worked our butts off, hopefully) doing Pilates today. Whew, sweating bullets for big guns was the attempt. Then after dinner Dierdre, Sherry, her daughter Brenda, and another girl (whose name I can't remember) had a Bible study, where we looked at Ephesians 3. What a wonderful chapter! I was once again reminded of how I need to be continually seeking after the "unsearchable riches of Christ" and praying for others that they may experience "how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge." I'm also encouraged by the fact that God is working and " able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine." What a glorious future we have in store, not only here on earth, but also in heaven. Praise the Lord.

Weekend

The weekend has been active & full, yet quite enjoyable - just like each weekday. The number of mosquito bites continues to grow, as well as a slight sunburn despite my best attempts at using agents. Hey, it's all a part of the experience, right? Yesterday we hiked around the island to Rocky Point and then snorkeled off the dock. There were some incredible schools of fish on the reef, as well as neato parrot fish and angel fish. Luckily, we ran into no barracudas or other dangerous ocean creatures. :O) Today we went to Church of God twice, once for morning church and a second time for John Bowman's memorial service. The majority of attendees were women. Church here is completely different! Of course, the same elements of worship, prayer and teaching from the Bible are there, but, there is a smaller community (about 20 attendees) and much less technology (which is no surprise, considering where I'm at). It's refreshing to worship in a new way! Tammy and Ronny, Helene missionaries to Costa Rica, are here until tomorrow. Ronny spoke in church today on 1 Samuel 3 and they came and had THANKSGIVING dinner with us tonight (and I'm talking the whole nine yards of turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, stuffin', etc). I'm feeling somewhat assimilated after being here one week. I just wish I could learn names of the islanders better. Relationship building definitely takes time.

A week in the life of a Helene missionary...

You might be wondering what a typical week looks like here in Helene. Now that I've lived one, here's the basic just:

Monday - Clinic 9-noon; School 1pm-5pm; Clinic 2-4pm

Tuesday - AM Home health visits to Seco, The Pond, & Mangrove bay (Esley, Ms. Nella, Lowell); PM to The Bight & Bentley Bay

Wednesday - Clinic 9-noon; School 1pm-5pm; Clinic 2-4pm

Thursday - Morning Team Helene mtg.; Northside home visits & ladies Bible study

Friday - Clinic 9-noon; teacher prep day; Clinic 2-4pm; Grocery shopping day (woo)

Saturday - People coming, people going (to/from Helene); Chillaxin' - snorkeling, hiking, laziness or whatever else you please

Sunday - Church and rest (I have yet to experience church on the island)

Every day starts out with devotions at 7:30am, shared by the designated team member. Breakfast is @ 8am, Lunch @ noon, and Dinner @ 6pm. The food is pretty typical American, however, sometimes the ladies (Linda and/or Sherry) make Balliatas, which are traditional tortillas that you can put the typical burrito stuffin's on. Nights are filled with games (favorites here are cribbage, spades and Apples to Apples) or maybe a movie (so far I've seen some pretty good ones).

Friday Recap - day 6

Yesterday (7/21) included morning clinic with Alisa, afternoon clinic with Dierdre, and wandering around a bit with Alisa in preparation for the girls' sleepover she had last night. In clinic yesterday, we mainly saw people with sore throats, stomach pains, and muscle pains. For sore throats, we ask how long they've had it and try to first determine whether it is bacterial or viral. If bacterial and affecting the upper respiratory tract, we can give antibiotics (amoxicillin 250mg 5-7 days BID). That's what we gave to Cleo. If viral, we usually give tylenol to bring down any fever and reduce the throat pain. Then we tell them to come back in 3 days if it doesn't improve. For indigestion/stomach gas pain, we give omeprazole or protonix or maalox. What amazes me is that Alisa and Dierdre always seem to know just what to give. For muscle pains, our best friend is good ol' Ibuprofen. Marlyn is getting penicillin every day because she miscarried. Little Raven's burns are looking better - I got to tend them.

I had a blast yesterday playing with the kids (their favorite thing seems to be horse rides and swinging around in circles until everyone is dizzy). Little Jamal (the 2-year-old son of Mary, whose husband, John, just passed) became our little buddy during that time and has the most adorable little voice.

We're giving Rocephin (a powerful antibiotic) to Esley, who has been fighting infection for several weeks now. I'm glad to see he seems to get around very well in a wheelchair despite having paraplegia. I gave him an injection today in the middle of the path as several men in the community were just standing around him chatting about the cool Carribean breeze. Such a different way of health care. Such a different way of life.

Pictures!

Until I figure the whole Picassa thang out, click on this link to see pictures of some of my experiences thus far: http://spu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2008991&l=b9201&id=42901188.

Thursday in Northside

As I write this I hear songs floating up to my window, "nothing but the blood of Jesus" and "I have decided to follow Jesus..." The more I learn about this place, the more I love it! I spent the afternoon in Northside "the end of the island," which is the northern part of Helene (wow, go figure). Dierdre and I visited 2 ladies, Ms. Nila, who has DM and is controlling it well with PO meds, the other, Ms. Betty, who required a bit more help (needed a foley and drsg. change). They were both incredibly sweet. I love being able to pray with patients - I think it's my favorite part. After seeing patients we had a Bible study with some of the ladies, talking over Ephesians 6. We also sang "He's got the whole world in His hands," laid hands on Ms. Zola (who had a severe headache today), and did a "symphony" of prayer at the end (everyone prays at the same time). It was amazing.

Joe just went scuba diving and showed me a camera shot of a shark he saw, as well as a spotted eagle ray. Pretty darn cool.

That's all for now, folks.

Day 4 - Wednesday Clinic

Clinic today was great! Alisa was my hero when she suctioned some yellow berry out of this little 2 year old boy's nose. We had to hold him down because he was so squirmy - poor little guy, but all better now. The most moving moment was crying with Gracie, who considers John Bowman (the man who died last week of cancer) her brother. She has such a loving heart; it was hard to see her hurting so much.

In charting on some patients this morning, I signed, "M.Helfrick, RN" for the first time. Really, it's not a big deal, but to me, it was! It feels SO great because I know this is what God has called me to. Still, there's much to know and practice. Yet, I am OH SO THANKFUL to be at this place. That is - both Helene in the literal sense, but also at this place in life. I'm quite tired and have felt weak today - in a S L O W mo. type of way. I think my body is still adjusting. I'm pretty humbled by the things I'm seeing and learning in the clinic. With God's help, I'm moving forward and getting a little better each day.

Day 3 - Home Visits

This morning I woke up and went on to the Department of Health for Washington state to find out that I AM A REGISTERED NURSE! It's for real! I'm now legally dangerous... ;)

Today we did home visits...we went through communities of Cecco, Bentley Bay, the Bight, and others. I'm sure I just butchered those spellings. What do we do on home visits? Mostly assessments, handing out the weekly meds, and just chatting. I was amazed (and humbled) by how simply the people on Helene live - no running water or electricity or "real" stores. The first person we visited was Esley. He's a paraplegic (paralyzed from waist down) who we were able to assist by emptying his foley, doing some passive ROM, doing a urinalysis to check for infection (leukocytes and RBCs were positive) and check for pressure ulcers. He's a neat guy who makes creative jewlery and can get himself around in a wheelchair. We tried to visit Lowell, but he wasn't home. We got to see Ms. Nella, the "everybody's grandma" type of person who has hypertension but doesn't believe in taking her beta blockers. At least she takes the HCTZ. We also saw Ms. Indiana, Joy, Mr. Lee, and another guy who just had an appendectomy after the appendix had ruptured. Mr. Lee is the oldest on Helene, at age 94 (in a few days), he is doing remarkably well (still walking and his pressure is WNL). It was great to meet him, learn about his family (15 kids and over 100 grandkids!), pray for him, and be prayed for by him. We also talked to people along the way, the most memorable being Mr. James, who gave me a warm welcome and a kiss on the cheek. I think He's the 2nd oldest person on the island.

Right now I'm feeling like there's so many names I wish I could remember, so many meds to keep track of, and I think I'm still quite tired with the cultural adjustment. But, overall, I could not be more content than I am right here, right now. I want to soak it all in before it's gone. I had one of those, "I can't believe I am on a remote Honduran island, interacting with such interesting people" moments today while I was with Ms. Indiana. I wish I could just freeze such moments to re-live them later.

I have so much to thank God for!

Day 2

Although I am with Americans (Team Helene consists of 8 gringos), it doesn't take long to realize where I am. All I have to do is step outside and catch a gorgeous sunset, check out the crystal clear water, or simply look at my computer screen and watch bugs crawl by. Only a screen separates my window from the outside, so I constantly hear kids playing, people worshipping in the church directly in front of my window, and/or roosters crowing with a gutteral noise. We get fun storms - in fact, I got poured on while I was snorkeling yesterday. The people here are extremely poor, living on little to nothing. Again, God helps me to put my life into perspective and realize how important relationships are above all.

It was a good first day at the clinic, including lots of viral colds, pulling out a small stone wedged into a girls' foot, and well baby checks. The children are sooo adorable. The nurses I am working with, Alisa and Dierdre, are incredibly patient, good at explaining things, and fun to work with. They joke that they're practicioners, pharmacists, and nurses all at the same time. And it's true - they truly run the show of assessing, diagnosing, prescribing and treating. I'm already learning a lot. I still haven't heard whether I've passed the NCLEX or not (great job on spelling). I'm not nervous...yet.

Sometimes I feel in over my head. I'm still very un-confident in my knowledge and ability to be a nurse, which makes it quite difficult when I'm given a patient and told to actually diagnose him or her. I'm holding fast to, Psalm 138:8,

"The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever - do not abandon the works of your hands." (NIV)
or
"The LORD will accomplish what concerns me; Your lovingkindness, O LORD, is everlasting; Do not forsake the works of Your hands." (NASB)

Here

Wow - pretty much sums it up! My current status is somewhere in the middle of the Caribbean on an island called Helene. The crickets chippering outside of my open air window, the june bug crawling across my desk and the sweat on my brow are good reminders of the fact that I'm not in Washington anymore. And it feels SO good! My flight came into Honduras yesterday just as the last team of the summer was being sent back home to Portland, OR. Then it was time for Team Helene to take the much-deserved break they needed after 6 straight weeks of hosting mission groups. We spent the night in Roatan, and were able to walk around the island this morning before taking a boat to Helene. Ooh! And the best part was going snorkeling with Dierdre and getting caught in this massive rainstorm (well, maybe just a minor one - but it felt big because we were kinda far from the shore). I'm having fun with the staff - it is never a dull moment with them. I sometimes wish I had a video camera to record the interactions because they are sitcom-worthy. I am looking forward to working with them over the next 6 weeks. I know I have a lot to learn from all of them and am praying that I can truly get out of the way so that God can work through me.
'Til next time