status post college

feeling like you should have life figured out,
but realizing you've only begun
supposedly an adult,
still feeling like a child, playing make-believe
so naive, yet ever-transforming

bursting forth from the bubble of bubbles
a heart full of hope soon burdened by the realities of this world
alone, longing for freedom. knowing there must be more than this
sickness. pain. suffering. death. sin.
ah, sometimes it's too much

Jesus, are you there?
Yes, and you are carrying her.
carrying me.
Your presence so real.
why does it still have to hurt so bad?

change the world?
heh.
like a toddler I'm still stuck on the "me"s, "mine"s and "I"s
screwed up? definietly.
grace, unmerited. and so desperately needed.

insecure with a facade of confidence
responsible yet feeling reckless
what do You want me to do?
aimless. wandering. wondering.
time seemingly more abundant, yet, quickly slipping away

there is still hope.

and we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God...
and hope does not disappoint us,
because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit,
whom he has given us.
-Rom 5:2,5

Small Enough

Oh, Great God, be small enough to hear me now.
There were times when I was crying from the dark of Daniel's den;
And I have asked you once or twice if You would part the sea again.
But tonight I do not need a fiery pillar in the sky.
Just want to know you're gonna hold me if I start to cry.
Oh great God, be small enough to hear me now.
Oh great God, be close enough to feel You now.
There have been moments when I could not face Goliath on my own.
And how could I forget we've march around our share of Jerichos.
But I will not be setting out a fleece for You tonight.
Just want to know that everything will be alright.
Oh, great God, be close enough to feel You now.
All praise and all the honor be;
To the God of ancient mysteries.
Whose every sign and wonder turn the pages of our history.
But tonight my heart is heavy,
And I cannot keep from whispering this prayer:
Are You there?
And I know You could leave writing on the wall that's just for me.
Or send wisdom while I'm sleeping, like in Solomon's sweet dreams.
But I don't need the strength of Samson or a chariot in the end...
Just Want to know that You still know how many hairs are on my head.
(Are you small enough?)
Oh, great God, be small enough to hear me now.
-Nicole Nordeman