status post college

feeling like you should have life figured out,
but realizing you've only begun
supposedly an adult,
still feeling like a child, playing make-believe
so naive, yet ever-transforming

bursting forth from the bubble of bubbles
a heart full of hope soon burdened by the realities of this world
alone, longing for freedom. knowing there must be more than this
sickness. pain. suffering. death. sin.
ah, sometimes it's too much

Jesus, are you there?
Yes, and you are carrying her.
carrying me.
Your presence so real.
why does it still have to hurt so bad?

change the world?
heh.
like a toddler I'm still stuck on the "me"s, "mine"s and "I"s
screwed up? definietly.
grace, unmerited. and so desperately needed.

insecure with a facade of confidence
responsible yet feeling reckless
what do You want me to do?
aimless. wandering. wondering.
time seemingly more abundant, yet, quickly slipping away

there is still hope.

and we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God...
and hope does not disappoint us,
because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit,
whom he has given us.
-Rom 5:2,5