A John 14 kind of PEACE...

The previous journal entry brings me to the amazing chapter of John 14, almost completely composed of the words of Jesus as He comforts His disciples:

”Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.” (v 1)

“Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do EVEN GREATER things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” (v 11-14)

God wants to use us as He used Jesus!?!? Yeah, I'd say that's a tremendous responsibility - and privilege! In what God has called me to, this career called nursing, I definitely felt the weight of that this week. As Oswald said, "The goal of faithfulness is not that we will do work for God, but that He will be free to do His work through us. God calls us to His service and places tremendous responsibilities on us. He expects no complaining on our part and offers no explanation on His part. God wants to use us as He used His own Son." Wow. I am honored that God wants to use me in that way, and also extremely thankful that He won’t call us into anything, however difficult, without walking with us in it every step of the way.

“If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever – the Spirit of Truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.” (v 15-18)

Obedience to God is not easy! But, as the desire of my heart is to follow Christ my Lord and my example, I am being called to obedience. In light of Jesus demonstrating obedience unto to death, even death on a cross, how absurd it is for me to even think of throwing in the towel when the going gets tough! I am thankful to God for the Counselor of the Holy Spirit who never leaves me and is forever within me. He is my Sustainer, my reality check, my Light, my Strength and SO much more.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (v 27)

I can’t say that I was feeling at peace this entire week. Not when I made a major mistake on Monday, not when my Pre-ICU patient was tanking fast on me, not when my new admit from the ED was having uncontrollable pain, not when I trembled in exhaustion at night in bed, and not when I woke up in the early mornings just to burst into discouraged tears. Yet, I know God was there in every moment of it, good and tough, to offer me His peace. I was finally able to come to that again on the night of Christmas Eve, when I tardily stumbled into the Free Methodist Church in my scrubs, to find myself enraptured by a marvelous candle lighting service. “The hopes and fears of all the years are met in Thee tonight” was the theme. As the symbolic candles were being lit and ignited mine in the back of the sanctuary, I was able to accept over-riding peace of God, which transcends all human understanding.